Broken
by Crazygirlka
Summary: My version of Naomily after s4e2


_**Hi guys, this is my first fanfic, so don't be harsh. This just hit me over the head and I've decided to post it here. i'm sorry if I have mistakes,just I'm bulgarian and I'm still learning english. I hope you'll enjoy it.**_

**Author: **Crazygirlka

**Disclaimer:** Skins is not mine...unfortunately

**Pairing: **Naomily

**Rating: **M

**Summary: **Naomily after the roof scene

Emily's POV

I can still see her on Naomi's skin, still can feel her touch. My brain is playing this cruel game and it's like enjoying torturing me with images of moaning Naomi, whispering ''I want you'' in Sophia's ear. The thought of it makes me sick, all I want to do is puke, but I can't keep doing it. I lie down on the bathroom floor staring at the ceiling. Why would she do this, I don't understand why she would do this. I loved her, I loved her so much. Why wasn't I enough for her, why couldn't I be enough? I can feel the tears on my cheeks. One by one they fall on the ground. I don't care anymore. Before last night I thought I can't live without her. Now I'm looking forward to it. I wish I could say I don't love her anymore, but what will be a huge lie. I love her with all my heart and that's why it hurts so fucking much. I can't quite believe I still have a heart, but the pain reminds me of that. It's shattered to million pieces, but it's still there. She was regretting it, but why should I care? She was the one, who cheated, not me. I stand up and look at the mirror. I can't recognize myself. My hair is wet and dirty, my face is so pail and I my eyes look so empty, without that usual spark in them. That's how I feel…empty. I think again about the roof and how much I wanted to hug her and kiss her. But I can't. Not anymore. She is not mine. The moment she let that bitch touch her she stopped being mine. After everything we've been through. I can't even look at her. I lie again on the floor and think about what my mum will say. I can even hear ''I told you she would fuck you up''. She was right, wasn't she? Naomi did fuck me up. Why haven't I seen it coming? I knew something is wrong. The way she acted… fuck it! I have to stop hurting myself with thoughts of Naomi. I look at the mirror and with one strong hit I break it. Just one small piece, one small cut and everything will be over. I can smell the blood, can see it all over my clothes. Before everything goes dark I see her, her blond, almost white hair and piercing blue eyes. And than…darkness.

Naomi's POV

How could I did this to her? My Emily, the only person I swore I won't hurt again. And here I'm now, alone in my house, no, our house, in our bed. I take one white shirt of the chair and hug it. It smells like Emily, like her shampoo and her natural smell. It still drives me mad, the way she smells after sex or after shower. She is gorgeous. Her eyes, I know she thinks my blue ones are great, but hers are even more beautiful. The spark in them, the way her whole face lights up when she sees me, her eyes speak volumes. But not anymore. The last time I look at them I only saw hurt and anger and sorrow. I don't want to be the person, who does that. Who breaks Emily, but unfortunately I'm. And I hate myself. It was a mistake, but at the same time I needed it. Like it opened my eyes to see that I'm actually madly in love with Emily Fitch and that I want to spend my whole life with her. I know that I had to talk to her, but every time I brought the subject I thought about how much I will hurt her. And at the end I didn't say anything. In fact I did the only one thing that I swore I won't do. I cheated. I'm scared…again… but this time it is, because I've lost her. She is not mine anymore. And I can't blame her for it. It's all my fault. And I'm devastated…I can't live without her. I don't want to live without her. It wasn't romantic or beautiful, like they way it is with Emily. The sex with Sophia was rough and it was fucking. The minute I did it I regretted it, but it was too late. I was scared of my feelings for Emily and I needed to take control. Because Emily had, no, she still has control over my life. I know she is broken. I broke her. I won't see her again, I won't touch her…that thought hit me hard. It's over. It really is over. She is strong and she will move on, but I won't. I can't. I run to the bedroom. My mum's bedroom is a mess, but I can easily find her pills. I look at the bottle, there are enough pills for me. I take one, than another one, than three more, fuck it, I need more. I swallow two more pills. Now I feel numb. The last image that crosses my mind is Emily, her hair, her smile, her eyes. And than…darkness.

In two different houses, in two different rooms, two girls lay there. Two hearts full with love and pain, fighting for life.

Two girls, Naomi Campbell and Emily Fitch. Both loved, both hurt, both dead.


End file.
